Almost everything sounds better in French. Have you noticed that?
I say “almost” because what doesn’t sound better in French is screamingly funny to me. Remember this list I put together of my favourite French words? Well, I found one more to append to my personal lexicon.
During our family trip to Montreal for my brother’s wedding a couple of weeks ago, we stayed in a hotel in the Old Port.
As I was pawing through the assortment of Lilliputian toiletries in our hotel bathroom, I saw this tiny cardboard box:
And then I laughed and laughed and popped that puppy in my case.
I’ve been mulling over applications of the term douche bonnet ever since. And no, I’m not talking about a cavity rinse here, you disgusting people.
Would a douche bonnet protect me from douchebags? Wait! Maybe a douche bonnet could be a female douchebag. I could coin a new phrase: “Don’t be such a douche bonnet, Edna”.
Or maybe it could refer to a negative state of mind. If I find myself seeing the worst in people, situations and things, I could blame my figurative douche bonnet. Wearing a douche bonnet has the opposite effect of wearing rose-coloured glasses.
I could just coach myself out of self-defeating thought patterns with a special mantra, “Om…ditch the douche bonnet…om.” If nothing else, it makes me laugh.
A quick search through the internet though, confirms I’m not the originator. Far from it. Here’s the original douche bonnet. Of course, the above picture will have killed any political aspirations I may have had.
Disclaimer: I am unilingual and embarrassed about that. Some day, I will learn to speak French somewhat fluently by parking myself, likely in the Charlevoix region of Quebec, and torturing the locals on the ski lifts and trails and in restaurants with my terrible pronunciation and my utter lack of comprehension. Until then, I sporadically listen to Radio Canada and then switch to CBC to figure out the current events that were expliquéd in exquisite-sounding French.