Aging

#reverb10 / Aging / Freaking outing — 18 Comments
16
Dec 10

reverb10-16: She freaks me out, but sometimes that’s a good thing

Umm. Susan that dude's made of stone, so he won't talk to you. Stop saying "hi".

Susan collects friends the way some people collect cats or pig figurines or spores.

If Susan doesn’t make friends with someone that would be weird.

Sometimes when we’re out shopping and we’re slowed down by the 20th person she wants to stop and talk to, I say, “Will you stop saying hi to everyone?”

But she wouldn’t be Susan if she didn’t.

Almost all the friends I currently have in Ottawa came my way because of Susan (except my high school friend Allison who saved me from jail time after Colicky Baby #1). In Malcolm Gladwell terms, she’s a connector. I’m a quasi-hermit.

Susan is charming and relentless (at times to the point of annoyance). The fact that she dropped my baby when I first met her and I still became friends with her is a testament to her incredible charm–or mind control.

We’re very different. She’s an art geek and I’m a jock; she likes to attend parties where she hardly knows anyone; I do not. She loves yoga dance and I will not.

She’s fearless in ways I’m not. When we had bed bugs, Susan came over and helped me steam furniture. When another friend was faced with the same scourge (not from my house, thankfully), I couldn’t bring myself to help with the work involved, except to leave booze on her porch.

She says stuff out loud like “post-coital drip” and talks about menstrual cups just to gross me out. I get grossed out.

But we’re similar in ways that matter, such as our love for our families and our endless appreciation for fart jokes.

How did she change my perspective on the world this year? I learned to not take her for granted.

She went away. She and her family moved to Brussels last year because of her husband’s work. I felt adrift. I managed. The network that she set up floated along, but her absence was keenly felt.

I was supposed to visit her in Brussels, but I planned a bike trip to Mallorca instead. She forgave me and then hopped aboard the trip, despite the fact that she doesn’t bike. She became the team mascot. We laughed and laughed on that trip.

When I cycled myself into oblivion during a mountain ride, she took care of me. She covered me in blankets and brought me tea and stomach-friendly foods.

Susan and her family have returned, and there was much rejoicing in this house and in many houses across Ottawa.

Susan is a great friend, who has taught me a lot about being there for others.

***

I’m participating in a 31-day blogging challenge called #reverb10. Each post is a response to a writing prompt from a different author. The goal of the exercise is to reflect on 2010 and set goals for 2011. My personal challenge is to respond to each prompt in an hour or less. So far, I’ve blown my deadline each time. But tomorrow is another day.

Today’s prompt was from Martha Mihalick:

Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

#reverb10 / Aging — 8 Comments
15
Dec 10

reverb 10-15: 5 minutes to amnesia

Memory retrieval is getting trickier and trickier. Trying to remember the highlights of 2010 in five minutes is like trying to catch fish with my bare hands. I can’t remember what I ate for dinner last night. I’m thinking it might have been fish.

Sometimes I feel like I’m five minutes from having to wear a name tag and a little sign that says, “If found, please call 555-555-5555.” Except no one would answer because that’s not a real phone number.

Setting alarm now:

  • my first bike ride down a mountain switchback
  • the meals and support from family and friends after the death of my brother-in-law
  • the smell of sweetgrass that fills my nose as soon as I travel down Whites Point Road on Manitoulin Island
  • my elder daughter’s dance recital
  • my younger daughter’s love for her bald lion
  • the way my dog Maggie leaps through the sprinkler
  • giggling with my husband on the living room floor after a half-hearted attempt to do yoga after the kids went to bed
  • the fact that camping didn’t suck this year
  • my phone number

I know this list could be much longer, but one needs to be well rested to perform adequately on memory exercises and I’m not. I blame reverb10 for this.

***

I’m participating in a 31-day blogging challenge called #reverb10. Each post is a response to a writing prompt from a different author. The goal of the exercise is to reflect on 2010 and set goals for 2011. My personal challenge is to respond to each prompt in an hour or less. So far, I’ve blown my deadline each time. But tomorrow is another day.

Today’s prompt was from Patti Digh:

5 minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

#reverb10 / Aging / Buddhism and meditation / Motherhood/Parenting — 10 Comments
14
Dec 10

reverb10-14: Time flies whether you’re having fun or not

These cookies are called Melting Moments. A long line of mothers in my family tree make these treats. They're well named. They melt in your mouth and they're gone in a wonderful moment.

The other day, I was out jogging with my 10-year-old and she asked me to slow down. When she caught up, I said, “Soon, you’ll be waiting for me.”

“How soon?” she asked.

“In about 10 years,” I said with a smile.

“10 years! That’s a lifetime, Mom!”

“Maybe for you, but not for me. These last 10 years have flown,” I said.

“Maybe for you, but not for me,” she said.

We both laughed.

There have been some tough times, but I’m grateful I’m here.

Family and friends are my riches.

Time melts away whether I judge time as good or bad. I’m learning to be grateful moment by moment.

And I think I was being overly optimistic there. She’ll probably be kicking my ass in five years or less.

***

I’m participating in a 31-day blogging challenge called #reverb10. Each post is a response to a writing prompt from a different author. The goal of the exercise is to reflect on 2010 and set goals for 2011. My personal challenge is to respond to each prompt in an hour or less. So far, I’ve blown my deadline each time. But tomorrow is another day.

Today’s prompt was from Victoria Klein:

Appreciate: What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

Aging / Motherhood/Parenting — 5 Comments
5
Nov 10

It was Big, scary, sad and embarrassing

Every Friday, we have Junk Food Night. It’s a celebration of corn dogs, chips, chocolate bars and Swedish berries. Post-Halloween, Junk Food Night is enough to put you in a coma.

We also have family movie night. I talked my girls into watching Tom Hanks’ 1988 breakout movie–Big. They squirmed and squealed through the whole thing.

They’re all, “I can’t watch! I can’t watch!”

And I’m all, “Yeah, the shoulder pads and big hair are really scary.”

Elizabeth Perkins’ hair was fairly tame by 80s standards (not now though), but I was transported back in time to high school. One of the girls in my high school used to brush toothpaste into her hair during the blow-dry cycle to give it that big, stiff I-just-got-caught-in-a-jet engine look.

For my girls, it was watching an adult act like a kid that was awful. They were so embarrassed for the 12/30 year-old Josh Baskin, they tucked their little heads into my armpits during the boy-meets-girl scenes. That’s fear, folks. It was the vicarious embarrassment that was sad and scary, and made my armpits worth sniffing as a refuge.

The gist of the movie is:

  • 12-year-old boy wishes to be big
  • wakes up the next day in a 30-year-old body
  • ends up as vice president of a toy company
  • wants his old life back

That’s very prescient. But these days, 30 is too old for the corner office. Nine is the new 20.

My younger daughter said she wouldn’t waste her wish on being older, she’d rather be a shape shifter. My elder daughter said she’d wish for an end to poverty. Me? Personal grooming in these middle years is non-trivial. I’m torn between wishing for nice eyebrows and a million bucks.

I have a lot to learn from my children. Obviously.

Aging / Motherhood/Parenting / Photos / Ties that bind (family) / Vacations — 6 Comments
12
Oct 10

Sorta obligatory post-Thanksgiving gratitude post

Thanksgiving was so fabulous, I feel the need to descend into cliché and do a little photo essay about the people and things that I’m grateful for.

I’m grateful…

  • Because I already know how I’m going to look when I’m 65. I’m certain that I’m the product of a rogue 1970 cloning project. My mother’s my doppelganger. Or am I hers? Plus, she’s awesome:

  • That this mouse wasn’t born in my house:

  • For my children. Sure, their beauty is exquisite, but their powers of observation and sense of humour thrill me. Examples: “Mommy, that tree is beautiful and luminous,” and, “You’re taking meditation classes? Um…good luck with that.” Here they are:

  • My guests enjoyed the Thanksgiving meal in spite of the fact that the turkey stuffing was a farce:

  • To live in a land of plenty. This weekend, it was plenty of sunshine and fall colours:

  • That dressed-up dogs always make me laugh.

  • For family, friends, good health, my dog, vintners, chocolatiers, and the makers of Metamucil. Thank you.
Aging / Vacations — 5 Comments
24
Aug 10

Train wreck wardrobe combinations for the over-40 set

Well, Barb (left) and I have a good start here with the welder's glasses. Happy birthday and welcome to hagdom, Barb.

My oldest friend–wait a minute. She’s not the oldest, but I’ve known her the longest,  gave me a plaque listing several wardrobe faux pas for the over-40 set.  Since I beat Barb into this age bracket by a couple of months, she loves to rub it in.

My favourite combo from the list was thongs and Depends. I can’t publish them all because I don’t want to mess with copyright, so my cousin Steph and I put our heads together and came up with this list. You know the saying, two heads are better than one, but on vacation it’s actually two heads equal one.

  • Duct tape and tube tops
  • Nose piercing and cataract (welder’s) sunglasses
  • Spanx and lowrisers
  • Tattoos and colostomy bags
  • Skinny jeans and orthopedic shoes
  • Bustier and a sunhat
  • Mesh shirt and anything
  • *Fake boobs and an 80-year-old face (pneumatic octogenarians–I’ve been wanting to work “pneumatic” into a post for ages)
  • Eyebrow ring and hair plugs
  • Frosted lipstick and Ben Gay
  • Faux hawks and Just For Men
  • Popped collar and a neck brace
  • Compression hose and stilettos
  • Blue eye shadow and blue hair

This list, along with How Not To Look Old, are must-reads for those of us who are a certain age. I was of an uncertain age, but I guess I blew it with this post.

*Must clarify here. We mean rather sizable implants here. The kind that precede you into a room by a matter of seconds.

Aging / Health and fitness / Ties that bind (family) / Vacations — 7 Comments
24
Jul 10

You know you’re on Whites Point, Manitoulin Island when…

  1. People recite their phone numbers in four digits, but they don’t know their address (“last one on the left”).
  2. Sour cream and onion chips are considered a vegetable.
  3. Happy Hour is between 5 p.m. and 8 p.m. from Monday to Sunday.
  4. Dogs outnumber people (this is particularly true at the Snow’s).
  5. People on the east and west side  each think their side of Whites Point is better, but we can all get along and smile at each other over the smoked whitefish dip at Happy Hours. The Strong’s are smiling the widest because their lot straddles east and west.
  6. You’re in greater danger of being hit by a golf cart or a canopied bike than a car.
  7. Your most vigorous exercise is getting your ass kicked by spry seniors in a game of pickle ball at the community centre
  8. You can count your bug bites on one hand (since 1974).
  9. It’s not a vacation until you’ve made two ER trips with crying children. Diagnosis: Swimmer’s ear.
  10. Having a steambath at Uncle John’s is like going to the spa, psychotherapist and bar all at once.
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